It’s that time of the year again. When the unelected people who give your taxpayers money to their friends and family give even more of it to even more of their friends and family and even charge you for the privilege of watching them rub their greedy little hands together. This year it seems that a number of University Professors have fallen on hard times as well as the usual suspects like Owen ‘bad boy’ Sheers, ‘Gross Writer’, ‘Horrid Henry’ and ‘Gloating Gower’.
This year, in Pulp of the Year 2016 the nominees are: Philip Gross (previous parasite), Paul Henry (bursary regular – £6,425), Stephen Payne (Professor who needs the cash?), Kate Hamer (bursary score – £5,000), Thomas Morris (lives in Dublin but still got a ticket), Owen Sheers (more public cash thrown at him than any other shit writer?), Jasmine Donahaye (Cash score – £20,000+), Eluned Gramich (other public money – £1,000), Daniel G. Williams (Professor who needs more cash), Mererid Hopwood (bursary score – £6,000), Gruffudd Owen (Arts Council Trougher), Cen Williams (big jobs for the boys), Jon Gower (bursary score – £8,000), Caryl Lewis (Wales Literature Exchange), Dewi Prysor (was interesting until he made this list), Simon Brooks (bursary score – £2,003), Gruffydd Aled Williams (another hard-up Professor) and Emyr Glyn Williams.
Ever been short of a few bob? Ever wondered how you’ll pay the mortgage? The gas and electric bills getting you down? Well, never fear there is an answer to your problems. It’s called the Creative Wales Awards.
Linking up with Literature Wales the Arts Council of Wales’ Creative Wales Awards are supposed to recognise the very best talent and potential of individual Welsh artists but instead they get given to someone named ‘Wynne-Rhydderch‘ – that household name once again! What a pile of shite!
Along with Samantha Wynne-Rhydderch, are Jasmine Donahaye and Mab Jones. They will get the following:
Jasmine Donahaye – £20,000
Jasmine will spend long periods of time watching animals getting slaughtered then write about it. Wow!
Samantha Wynne – Rhydderch – £14,350
Samantha, who already earns a fair crust as a teacher at Trinity Saint David University, will basically waste a year of her life looking at things that aren’t books.
Mab Jones – £20,000
Mab Jones will get paid to learn all about ‘rakugo’ – a Japanese comic storytelling form! Unlike the rest of us who have to pay to get taught.
So once again the message is clear – change your name to ‘Wynne-Rhydderch’ and get given taxpayers money! Horray!
After being given £8,000 for his truly terrible Wales Book of the Year, golden boy Owen Sheers is tipped to win the 2014 Dylan Thomas Prize this year as well. Nice job if you can get it eh!
Here is the Short List in full:
Eleanor Catton, The Luminaries (Granta)
Joshua Ferris, To Rise Again at a Decent Hour (Viking)
Eimear McBride, A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing (Faber & Faber)
Kseniya Melnik, Snow in May (Fourth Estate)
Kei Miller, The Cartographer Tries to Map a Way to Zion (Carcanet Press)
Owen Sheers, Mametz (National Theatre Wales)
Naomi Wood, Mrs Hemingway (Picador)
This time he could net £30,000 and pay off the mortgage on his farm perhaps?
Let’s hope Cerys Mathews doesn’t blot her copybook by listening to those who tell her to pick him!
This month sees yet another £81,000 of taxpayers money dished out to so-called “writers” no-one has ever heard of. True, there are a few unpublished writers in there too (six we counted, although LW say it is eleven) but once again the vast majority of the cash is gifted to “published” writers – most, if not all, are unknown, talentless and worse still – previous bursary recipients! Disgusting you might say? Well, we’ll agree with you.
But if this serious business of handing out taxpayers money without scrutiny wasn’t enough, Literature Wales even have the gall to announce to the world that they have awarded over £1 million in Writers’ Bursaries to their friends and family!
And out of that million quid the only “famous” writers they can come up with are: Belinda Bauer, Lloyd Jones, Daniel Morden & Gwyneth Lewis. Yes, you’re right again, no-one outside Wales has ever heard of them.
How sad that in this, Dylan Thomas’s centenary year, LW still can’t give 100% of its financial support to new writers!
Link to who got what this year – click here.