Literature Wales have just given £4000 of taxpayers money to Thomas Morris, who lives in Dublin, for Wales Book of the Year 2016. His debut collection of short stories is set in Caerphilly. You can read a sample of We Don’t Know What We’re Doing on Amazon. I did. It’s pretty bad. Shame really, I was hoping they’d actually found someone who could write. Maybe he’s a friend or relative of someone at Literature Wales?
Cornishman, Professor of Creative Writing at Glamorgan University, Philip Gross (average salary approx. £76,000) is given more money from the Roland Mathias award while bursary regular and ‘Creative Wales’ milk maid Jasmine Donahaye also cashes in further.
All the winners probably said “Wow, more money for nothing, so glad I stumbled onto this cash cow!” OK, that was a guess.
It’s that time of the year again. When the unelected people who give your taxpayers money to their friends and family give even more of it to even more of their friends and family and even charge you for the privilege of watching them rub their greedy little hands together. This year it seems that a number of University Professors have fallen on hard times as well as the usual suspects like Owen ‘bad boy’ Sheers, ‘Gross Writer’, ‘Horrid Henry’ and ‘Gloating Gower’.
This year, in Pulp of the Year 2016 the nominees are: Philip Gross (previous parasite), Paul Henry (bursary regular – £6,425), Stephen Payne (Professor who needs the cash?), Kate Hamer (bursary score – £5,000), Thomas Morris (lives in Dublin but still got a ticket), Owen Sheers (more public cash thrown at him than any other shit writer?), Jasmine Donahaye (Cash score – £20,000+), Eluned Gramich (other public money – £1,000), Daniel G. Williams (Professor who needs more cash), Mererid Hopwood (bursary score – £6,000), Gruffudd Owen (Arts Council Trougher), Cen Williams (big jobs for the boys), Jon Gower (bursary score – £8,000), Caryl Lewis (Wales Literature Exchange), Dewi Prysor (was interesting until he made this list), Simon Brooks (bursary score – £2,003), Gruffydd Aled Williams (another hard-up Professor) and Emyr Glyn Williams.
I noticed that our so-called ‘poet laureate’ – Gillian Clarke has produced a poem to mark the death of former South African leader Nelson Mandela this week. I read the poem and thought ‘what a load of shit’. No real feeling, no heartfelt emotion, no political comment, not even a dig at child murderer Winnie! Very boring.
So your challenge this month is to find a worse poem written by a Welsh Academi (Literature Wales) sponsored ‘writer’. Come on, don’t be shy, there must be thousands of them out there lurking, unread in the storerooms of the LW office or gathering dust on shelves in various attractions up and down the land.
If you can think of any please post the name of the poem and poet – might be a laugh!